Four years

I had every intention of eating on Nov. 8, 2016. I had gotten home from work, and was settling in to a night which would see Hillary Clinton win the presidency. 

I made a drink. Then I settled down to track the results. Then I had another drink. Then I saw that something weird was happening. Then I had another drink. 

By 9pm I was drunk, despondent, and had not eaten. I went to bed.

My wife got home from work at around midnight. She told me the election had been called for Donald Trump.

That day, and the four years which have followed, have been unhealed wounds. The country which I thought I knew, the country which became better, inch by inch, had betrayed me. It had reverted to something dark and dank. The screaming id had roared out for one final time, knocking those of us who believed in progress, in the ineluctable progress of our morality, flat on our asses.

We should be thankful that this screaming id elected a man supremely unfit to carry out its desires. The past four years have been horrible. Imagine if someone smart and competent had been elected. 

But the wounds are no less real, or painful. We see what America is becoming: Browner, more open, more decent, more human. And we've seen the America which is clinging on to its worst qualities: xenophobia, cruelty, violence. The past four years have been a running battle between these two Americas.

And I still remember that night four years ago, when everything seemed hopeless.

As of this writing, polling has come out of Arizona suddenly showing a neck and neck race. To say that I'm nonplussed would be an understatement. The polling released over the weekend showed Arizona more in the Democratic camp. The polls could be noise. The polls could be based on pollsters hedging their bets. (Which isn't what pollsters should do.) The momentum is still with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. But I'd be lying if old memories aren't being conjured up. In 2016, it was inconceivable that a buffoon like Trump could win. In 2020, the inconceivable has been four years of daily, grinding history.

And now I'm going to tell myself what I tell all of you: Snap out of it.

I'm not going to live in fear for the next 36 hours.

I'm going to trust in my fellow citizens.

I'm going to trust in the human capacity to learn, and to choose peace over conflict, prosperity over penury, good over evil.

I will not cower, I will not hide.

I will be quietly confident, because God doesn't play dice with the universe.

November 8, 2016 should not have happened. But it did. And we've lived with it for four hard years.

But look at how the majority of the nation, the majority not represented by Trump and his party, reacted to his installation.

They thought we'd slink away, because liberals are cowards. When in fact, it's they who are the cowards, and who complain about "cancel culture", as if they can have odious beliefs and we can't shame or punish them for it.

The past four years have been a daily resistance to incipient fascism. This country looked into the abyss, and the majority have been active in pulling it back from the precipice.

We have laid the groundwork for Joe and Kamala to storm the White House. Never doubt what a determined people can do. And in that determination, we've finally learned what Barack Obama was trying to teach us: That power is in our hands, if only we use it. Power doesn't flow from a gun barrel, but from human beings uniting to fight and struggle.

Trump thought that being president was like being king. He's now been reduced to pining for the life he lost. He will not win today, and his life will be over, beset by criminal cases and the hatred of an enraged nation.

I have no powers of augury. I'm not predicting anything. Except for this: We will persevere. We will bring home the victory, and we will fight to repair the damage done. Life is not for the neutrals. Everyone has to take a stand if they want to live a fully human life.

My thought for you for today is this: Breathe. We'll win this battle. But the war won't end. It will just be a new chapter. But the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. We'd forgotten that in 2016. Hopefully we've learned our lesson.