Welcome to Milwaukee!
Welcome to Milwaukee, fellow RNC delegates!
What a glorious four days we have planned for you. Here's a copy of our master calendar, but allow me the opportunity to highlight the best that the Party of Reagan has to offer.
Speaking of Saint Ronald, throughout the week we will be offering multiple viewings of early Oscar favorite Reagan, starring Dennis Quaid and Jon Voight. This likely Best Picture winner will help us relive the glorious 1980s when our party successfully squashed organized labor, completely ignored the AIDS epidemic, and illegally sold a few hundred thousand arms to terrorist regimes. What better way to Make America Great Again than to relive the life of the first person who originally coined the now-famous phrase?
Since we're already speaking of Republican celebrities, we will have some of our own on hand for multiple book signings throughout the week. Feel free to join us to receive autographs from some of our generation's most gifted minds including Peter Navarro, Kari Lake, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and the prodigal son himself, Donald Trump, Jr. Imagine being so close to our generation's most talented writers!
There's truly something for everyone this week! Even if you're one of our "other" supporters (non-White) we even put together some activities for you all as well. On Monday, we've got an event for the Asians, Tuesday for the Blacks, Wednesday for the Jews, and Thursday for the Hispanics. If you don't see an event for your type, well, just be sure to have your official credential on your person at all times, or else you might get mistaken for an Antifa infiltrator and wrestled violently to the ground by security!
Still not excited?
Well, golly! If you still ain't sweating red, white, and blue at this point I don't know what to tell ya! But, just to be on the safe side, I'll also proudly share the list of speakers who will be taking the podium this week. These folks truly represent the best and brightest of our Party and they are unquestionably the faces of modern conservatism. I mean, just look at all this star power! J.D. Vance, Marco Rubio, Tom Cotton, the, yes THE Katie Britt, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ronny Jackson, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Greg Abbott, Glenn Youngkin, Ben Carson, Kellyanne Conway, Newt Gingrich, Tucker Carlson, Charlie Kirk, Vivek Ramaswamy, Amber Rose, Dana White, and Franklin Graham among others! Never before have so many gifted minds come together in one single place. Their speeches are likely to become the stuff of legend!
And, let's not forget the Big Guy himself! Fresh off his miraculous, death-defying event in Pennsylvania, the brave, heroic, and godlike Donald Trump himself will be here. The consummate showman that he is, President Trump has yet to say when he'll announce his new running mate but we all know that whoever he picks will be the right man (and it will be a man) for the job. With two previous convention speeches under his belt, we can be sure that this one will take its place in the annals of history as one of, if not the greatest convention speeches of all time. What a glorious way to end your week here in Milwaukee!
So, enjoy everything our glorious city has to offer! And if you find something "horrible" about it, well that's just because of something the Democrats did. You know how it is!
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