A Visit From Mitch

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when through Mar-a-lago,
Not a creature was stirring, not even the ho.
The decorations were hung with some being stuck,
Which happens quite often when you don’t give a fuck.

The children were asleep after plotting their schemes,
While visions of jail time haunted their dreams.
And Melanie in her bed and Trump in his own,
Enjoying this and every night, completely alone.

When out of the grounds there arose quite a ruckus, 
Trump waddled from bed to bemoan, “Who dafuq dis!?”
Slowly to the window, Trump plodded along,
Opening the shutters to see what was wrong.

Not seeing an eclipse, Trump ventured a peek,
Squinting his eyes with his vision so weak.
When what to his wandering eyes did emerge,
But a miniature man and eight tiny senators.

With a reptilian face and a gait that did teeter,
Trump knew that it must be the majority leader.
Slowly like sloths, his minions did appear,
And he mumbled, and bumbled, and instilled in them fear:

“Now, Ted Cruz! Now, Rand Paul!
Now Rick and Tim Scott!
On, Loeffler! On, Purdue!
On, Collins and Cotton!

To the back portico! To the central staircase!
Let’s visit our good friend, Donald post haste!"

With Mitch leading the charge, the senators marched up ahead,
Planning on visiting Donald right next to his bed.
Walking the halls, their vision was clear,
Going quickly past Donald’s fake Time Man of the Year.

And then they arrived outside Donald’s room,
As Donald cowered inside, set to face his doom.
As he cried in the corner, Mitch kicked the door down,
In walked 9 GOP senators, done messing around.

Mitch dressed in a suit, with an American flag pin, 
Telling Donald point blank that he intended to win.
With the backing of his posse, Mitch made Trump declare,
That a $600 stimulus was more than quite fair.

Mitch’s eyes glowed with fire, his smile was wide,
Trump knew he was defeated, he had nowhere to hide.
Mitch laughed like a madman, his crew squealed with delight,
Trump knew he had lost, this was not a fair fight.

With an understanding made, Mitch began to walk,
With Donald still in the corner, in a state of shock.
Being visited by the speaker at his home was intense,
It made Donald wish he had a taller home fence.

It interrupted his evening and his late night tweeting,
And it gave him the message that his power was fleeting.
After Mitch retreated, Trump was left all alone,
Wondering what else there was to bemoan.

It was then when Trump heard a noise coming from out front,
Mitch and his senators were leaving after pulling their stunt.
But Mitch wasn’t done, he had one final thing to proclaim,
He looked at Trump’s window, without any shame. 

 “Donald, remember, I know all that occurred,
I know everything you did that was corrupt and absurd.
Don’t think for a minute I won’t tell Vladimir,
And with that I wish you and your family much Christmas cheer!”