President Snowflake

Never before has a man so small occupied the Oval Office.

For the first 228 years of our country's history, 44 men held the presidency. They represented the Republican, Democratic, Federalist, Democratic-Republican, Whig, and Union political parties. Some won razor-thin elections. Some only won because of backroom deals and bargains. Some faced immediate opposition on their first day in office. Others were stalled and stymied by members of their own administration. All of them were criticized by the media in some form. No matter what they did, they would never satisfy 100% of the people 100% of the time. This was the harsh reality of what it meant to be an American president. 

Donald Trump didn't care to learn this lesson. In 2016, he ran for president largely as a grift. He never studied world history or policy issues. His entire campaign was a list of grievances, one after another. He was manipulated into believing conspiracy theories. He would call out and bully those he felt had wronged him on Twitter. Never before had we seen someone with such thin skin make it through a presidential primary. But he hated the people that his supporters hated. He acted in a way that they wanted to act. For them, his uncouth, uncensored persona was what they had always wanted in a president. They didn't want someone polished and professional; they wanted someone whom they could relate to. And they found this relatable person in the form of a billionaire, coastal elite nepo baby from Queens.

Trump's first term showed us all how dangerous it was to have a narcissist in charge of the federal government. His first use of the world's greatest military was a disastrous mission that unnecessarily killed four American Green Beret soldiers in Niger. When the fallen soldiers returned home, Trump was out golfing instead of greeting the slain soldiers' families at Andrews Air Force Base. After 12 days of silence, Trump finally discussed the failed mission, but instead focused on the lie that former President Barack Obama did not console John Kelly after his son's death. This is a tactic that Trump would implement time and time again; when confronted with the consequences of a bad decision, he would simply change the subject. Our feckless media was more than happy to oblige, and it gave Trump the ability to avoid responsibility throughout the duration of his presidency. 

Flash forward 8 years, and Donald Trump has once again ascended to the nation's highest office. But instead of being content to manipulate the media into changing the subject whenever he screws up, Trump has become drunk with power and is going full authoritarian on anyone he feels is undermining his presidency. Eight months into his second term, Donald Trump is already seeking public retribution against The New York Times, Iowa pollster Ann Selzer, as well as comedians Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Seth Meyers. This past weekend, we learned he's also actively pressuring AG Pam Bondi to go after James Comey, Adam Schiff, and Letitia James. It's precisely why Joe Biden made the correct decision to pardon his son, Hunter, knowing that Trump would seek retribution against him and his family. Kamala Harris warned us this would happen, and once again, America failed to listen to the smart Democratic woman running for president. 

While Trump's attacks against his opponent are growing in number, they are also receiving more and more pushback. Republicans have always longed for an authoritarian, but they also have wanted one who wasn't so overt about being one. Having Trump publicly declare his intent to use his Attorney General to prosecute his political enemies is the type of move that would make Vladimir Putin blush. Because the thing about being an authoritarian is that people aren't supposed to know you're an authoritarian. Fortunately, King Cankles is too stupid to understand this and said the quiet part out loud. Now, if he does go through with these persecutions (or if he TACOs out), those named would have clear legal evidence of a targeted attack that was political, and nothing more, in nature. In trying to make himself king, Trump has once again made himself into the court jester. 

Trump may have the majority of the Republican Party on his side, but he does not have the majority of the American people. Our country still values the free speech associated with the First Amendment. Since suspending Jimmy Kimmel, Disney+ is losing subscribers at a rate that has caused the site's cancelation page to crash. Even conservative Republicans like Don Bacon, Rand Paul, and Ted Cruz have expressed concern over Trump's unprecedented attack on the First Amendment. While they might secretly agree with what Trump is doing, the fact that it's so out in the open and so grossly unpopular with the American people has made them concerned that the American people will (rightly) attach the entire GOP to Trump's own personal war against freedom of speech. Republicans hate those who criticize them, but they hate even more the prospect of their party being out of power after the 2026 midterm elections. 

That's why ultimately, Trump will fail. Because, as much as he would like to continue silencing his opponents, that's not how the First Amendment works. His legal threats against news outlets like The New York Times are just that: threats and nothing more. He may have a lapdog FCC chair, but that chair can't prevent the American people from exercising their spending power and forcing companies like Disney to think long and hard about whether or not they want to follow through with their proposed cancellations. The First Amendment is intrinsically tied to one's own buying power, and if a corporation arbitrarily removes someone from its ranks, it puts itself at risk of public backlash. Fortunately for all of us, Trump was never a great businessman and doesn't understand that this is how decisions get made by those who are actually involved in the day-to-day running of large multimedia corporations.

Despite Trump's current outburst, we should view his actions of the past week as yet another demonstration of his continuing desperation. Because the Stephen Colberts and Jimmy Kimmels of the world didn't just start criticizing Donald Trump; they've been doing so for a decade. It wasn't until his second term that Trump felt emboldened enough to publicly call for their removal. But Donald Trump never does anything by accident. He is as transparent as they come. For him to now push to tighten his grip on how he is perceived shows something has happened. Something is going on that has made Donald Trump want to appear like he is universally loved, a la Kim Jong Un. Something has made him painfully aware that he is being mocked by millions of people daily. 

We'll never know what's going on inside Donald Trump's head. But as a lifelong malignant narcissist whose health is deteriorating before our eyes, we can't help but posit that Trump is continuing to think about his legacy. Whether it's physical structures, such as the White House Ballroom, or public relations efforts to try and silence critics, Donald Trump is suddenly very aware of his mortality. This is simply the latest in an effort for him to clean up his image before he departs this physical plane. Fortunately for all of us, in an attempt to sanitize himself, Trump has instead waged a war on freedom of speech and has ignited strong dissent from those on the left and the right. Like everything Trump has done in his life, his efforts to save his own reputation have instead made it much, much worse for himself.

And has made his quest for absolute authoritarianism that much harder.