Wednesday open thread: Rudy putting out his hand
Rudy Giuliani, the one-time "America's Mayor", is in a bit of a pickle. The FBI raided his New York City flat last week, taking everything but the kitchen sink—and the Hunter Biden hard drives, which Rudy frantically tried to pawn off on them. It's more likely than not that Rudes will be indicted and arrested in due course. Legal bills add up, even for someone who has had a highly remunerative career like Rudes. (It doesn't help that it seems he's tapped another gonef to be his lawyer, Alan Dershowitz.)
What's a guy a little short on cash to do? Why, put out his hand to the so-called billionaire for whom he wrecked his life, that's what:
As a federal investigation into Rudolph W. Giuliani escalates, his advisers have been pressing aides to former President Donald J. Trump to reach into a $250 million war chest to pay Mr. Giuliani for his efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 election on Mr. Trump’s behalf.
The pressure from Mr. Giuliani’s camp has intensified since F.B.I. agents executed search warrants at Mr. Giuliani’s home and office last week, according to people familiar with the discussions, and comes as Mr. Giuliani has hired new lawyers and is facing his own protracted — and costly — legal battles.
Now, let's get to brass tacks: the mob captain is telling his capo di tutti capi that he's in a bit of a financial hole, and boy he doesn't know how long he can hold out—what with all the bills—before he has to fold like a dishrag and tell the Feds everything he knows. Men desperate to get laid at closing time are more subtle.
Of course, Rudy is going to learn right quick what everyone in Trump's orbit does: he doesn't care about you. He will let you twist in the wind and do not a damned thing. He believes he's untouchable, so why should he fork over any of his precious money to help someone who has shown nothing but loyalty to him? It's not his fault that you're a weak sucker who dyes his hair, or what's left of it, with shoe polish. Good luck buddy, hate to be in your shoes, I'm sure it'll all work out.
It will never cease to stupefy me that people who had some modicum of gravitas and goodwill attached to their names continue to fall into Trump's circle, thinking this time they'll be the one who can make him human, on whom your distinguished pedigree will have wonderworking powers, only to realize, after your life is ash, that you're just one more pigeon Trump fleeced for everything. The earth's almost-eight billion people are just chumps to be bled dry. Other than that, they serve no purpose. One can only marvel at what Trump plies his dupes with, to make them lose all caution and reason.
Eventually—and sooner rather than later, I warrant—Trump will meet his comeuppance. A man loyal to no one will have no one left to be loyal to him. And the saps who will turn on him? Well, it will be cold comfort as they rot away their lives. But revenge is best cold.