The First Fascist Forum of 2023
In a world where a barely sentient Joe Biden desperately clings to power, Democrat cities lie in utter disarray. Open borders have caused rogue COVID-infected Al-Qaeda gang members to align with local drag queens to overrun our schools with the woke agenda. Inflation has caused gas prices to be over $91 dollars a gallon and since Democrats defunded the police, illegal aliens stop at nothing to pillage and plunder the former coastal elites. With a morally bankrupt DOJ, Joe Biden has made no effort to end these plagues. Instead of doing his job, he sits atop his ivory White House looking down on the pain and suffering of everyday Americans while he and his son Hunter make shady backroom deals with Chinese businessmen. The only thing that can save America is to return Republicans to power before it's too late.
And. Scene.
Now that we've set the stage for what 74 million Republican voters believe is actually happening in this country, it's time to sit back and openly mock tonight's first in a series of shitshow Republican debates. Because these debates won't be grounded in reality. They will be grounded in the Republican bubble, a bubble that sounds eerily similar to the dystopian hellscape that was just described. In their Alex Jonesque world, no conspiracy theory is too crazy if it helps scare enough voters to the polls. Fear is the GOP's most powerful weapon; it is what provides them with the fuel to ignite passion in their rapidly aging base. Between fear, voter suppression, and authoritarian tactics, the GOP is desperately trying to hold on to power at a time when they are handily losing the battle of ideas.
Make no mistake about it. Donald Trump will win tonight's debate. He wins by default. Because each and every stooge on that stage is playing second fiddle. It is Trump's party. It's his party tonight, it will be his party tomorrow, and it will be his party up through the convention and into the general election. Donald Trump will likely be the GOP nominee, even if he is behind bars. It's a cult, and not the fun kind with cookies and punch. The cult of Donald Trump is one completely detached from reality and one that believes that Trump alone can save the country. The eight buffoons on tonight's debate stage will no longer be relevant one year from today.
There is no bottom for today's Republican Party. What happens tonight is simplest the latest in the party's slow descent into madness. But the madness is already here. The entire party is rotten to the core. There are no decent Republicans left today. Whatever happens on tonight's debate stage is a perfect encapsulation of the party. Eight inmates who somehow escaped the insane asylum. Eight clowns who should never be anywhere near children. Eight sellouts who have already souled their souls and their identities to have a place at the table. Eight candidates who would never have even been considered by the Republican Party less than one decade ago. Now, they are all that stand in the way of Donald J. Trump once again being the official nominee for president of the Republican Party.
An outcome that will become even more likely after tonight's utterly embarrassing display.
Author's note: If anyone out there is a glutton for punishment, we have GOP Debate Bingo cards like the one shared above available for free public consumption. Simply click on the link here and you will be presented with one of 30 printable bingo cards with 25 terms most likely to be heard this evening. Godspeed to any and all who witness the inevitable track wreck that will occur this evening.
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