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Monday Musings: Elon is Really, Really Bad At This



Imagine getting owned by an anonymous internet troll named Dril

This was the real-life scenario this past week for human crash test dummy Elon Musk in his ongoing mission to run Twitter into the ground.

Elon is not bright. At least when it comes to Twitter, he has displayed a clear lack of understanding as to what users value. For Elon, purchasing the app has always been about control. He wanted a social network where he could make all the unilateral decisions. An app where he could decide who is and who isn't verified or blocked. An app where he could singlehandedly dictate what the user experience would be for those using his service. History and market trends be damned, it was Elon and Elon alone who knew what the people wanted. 

Except he didn't.

In reality, Elon had no idea what type of experience those without $44 billion to burn genuinely found rewarding from Twitter. He did no market research. No consulting with major advertisers. No formal meeting with all the heads of programming and development. Elon came in guns blazing, firing his best engineers, forcing those remaining to be stuck in a world where he would fire them for publicly disagreeing with him. Employees who remained were forced to work and sometimes sleep in the office. Over 1,200 software engineers quit, many of them among the best and brightest in their field. All while lifelong Twitter users and advertisers witnessed the disaster and began to shift to alternative social media platforms. 

And yet, 330+ million Twitter users worldwide have remained. Some out of necessity. Others out of curiosity. Some, like myself, simply to fight back and continue to spout off pro-Democratic Party issues and achievements. Meanwhile, Elon's continued rampage has made it harder and harder to justify our decision to stay. His cherry-picked information he provided Matt Taibbi and Bari Weiss was laughable. But it was his decision to not only allow neo-Nazis back on the platform but to also censor journalists for those exposing political corruption that ate at our soul. It became apparent that Elon's mission was to slowly drive away those on the left of the political spectrum so that he could turn Twitter into a global Truth Social for those who shared his political ideology. 

Of course like any true aspiring fascist, Elon failed to read just how much people genuinely hate him. That became apparent this past week when in an effort to "purify" Twitter, Elon removed all users with a blue checkmark that verified their identity. The blue checkmark had previously been used as a way to prevent fake or knockoff accounts and to ensure that world leaders, celebrities, elected officials, government accounts, news media outlets, and other prominent users could confirm their authenticity. But Elon found this threatening. He did not like being unable to control this feature. So, in an effort to regain control Elon cleared all blue checkmarks on April 20th and said that anyone wanting to regain their blue checkmark could do so for the small fee of $8/month for his new Twitter Blue service.

Here's where the story gets fun.

Twitter users generally despise Elon. They hate what he's done to the site. So, naturally his new blue checkmark policy was met with widespread derision. Not only that, but various Twitter "influencers" like the aforementioned Dril created a campaign to #BlockTheBlue so that those who paid for the new Twitter Blue service were blocked by those of us who had previously followed them. This put Elon in a bind. His "loyal" followers willing to shell out $96 a year for the service were now losing followers and influence. So, Elon figured that if users were willing to block everyone who paid for the service then he'd sneakily verify those who didn't pay for the service but who still had large followings.

What could possibly go wrong? 

Again, Elon came to learn just how much Twitter despises him. Prominent figures like Stephen King, LeBron James, and William Shatner admitted that they did not, in fact, purchase Twitter Blue. Over time, more and more reinstated Twitter Blue users proudly proclaimed that they weren't, nor would they ever, pay for Elon's upgraded service. Elon was getting a real-time lesson in how his two-tiered membership service was completely off-putting to his most visible members. He could not longer hide the arbitrary nature of his system and openly admitted that he was paying for certain individuals to retain their Twitter Blue status. However, with the vast number of celebrities coming forward and announcing that they weren't in fact paying members, Elon was now stuck and needed a system where celebrities and influencers would stop proudly pronouncing that they weren't paying for the service.

Enter Elon's legacy verification gambit. 

As mentioned, Twitter previous had a system where users received a blue checkmark. So what does Elon do? He goes back into the system and reverifies everyone who previously had over one million followers with a blue checkmark. Now that people who are paying and not paying all share the same mark, this entire problem would be behind Elon, right? 

One small detail that Elon forgot.

Many of those who achieved legacy verification did so during the early days of Twitter and did so because they were popular figures. And among those who did so are a number of celebrities who have since passed away. So in his effort to reinstate everyone Musk seemingly forgot to remove those who are no longer with us but now have a note saying that they have paid for Twitter Blue. While I'm no legal expert, it feels like this is ripe for lawsuits with the whole defamation idea that one cannot publicly claim that people are endorsing a product when they obviously aren't. It took less than 72 hours, but Elon Musk managed to somehow make Twitter Blue even more of a disaster than the failed launch of his Starship rocket this past Thursday. 

All of this is comical to be sure. But as LL and others have raised, the fact that Twitter is no longer a reliable means of communication is something that cannot be ignored. Although Twitter is only used by 23% of people in America, it remains a valuable tool for democracy. Weather emergency notifications are given. Breaking news is shared. Businesses use the platform to share job openings. Voting information is provided by local elections offices and community organizations. And let's not forget the influence Twitter had during the Arab Spring and how it has been used as a tool to communicate against authoritarian regimes. The ability to film and then instantly post injustice has critical in the United States and countries around the globe cracking down on police brutality. 

For $44 billion, Elon Musk has ruined Twitter. His horrendous business acumen and instincts will be studied for generations. He can and should be mocked by all of us. But we need to understand that this was intentional. This was a man who wanted to create his own personal social network. He wanted to be in control and part of that control was making the experience so unbearable for those that disagreed with him that they would leave the site. What is Twitter and what will Twitter become? Based on what we've seen this past week, it will continue to be absolute chaos. But in that chaos, it has now become virtually impossible to organize. Perhaps that was the point all along. Perhaps Elon simply wanted to be the man who shut down the world's most effective organizing tool. Perhaps he wanted to be the cool guy hosting the party who told all the attendees where to go and what to do. And perhaps it was that control, and not the end result, that allowed Elon to finally feel whole.

All to own the libs.

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