Culture Thursday: A word from Victor the Crab - BARCLAY DAVIS: MEET MAX EDWARDS AND VICTOR THE CRAB

Art by Scopedog

Maxwell Christopher Edwards was born the youngest of three children in a middle class family from the suburbs. Max was always a shy one when compared to his more open brother and sister, Conrad and Anne. It didn't help Max out at home that both his mom and dad were arguing a lot.

And then it went from bad to worse. Just before Max started high school, his mother moved out of the house for good, leaving Max and his siblings at the mercy of their indifferent father. It left an already fragile Max broken from the inside, and it carried over right through high school, where Max was the target of many a cruel bully's taunts. Whether it was the braces on Max's teeth, his pimply face, or his greasy hair, nothing of Max's was off limits to his tormenters. The only thing Max could do to get through it was to do his best at school. He thought there has to be something better after this.

By the time Max entered college, the braces were off, the acne cleared up, and the hair cleaner and shorter. He also had a growth spurt that made him average in height. Things were a little better socially for Max, although he kept to himself for the most part.

Then he meets Lydia Cole.

Lydia had short, bobbish like blond hair and big brown eyes that made her look both a little exotic, as well as the girl next door. Lydia had trouble keeping up in college, especially having to deal with one insufferable professor named Lysenko, so she asked Max if she could help tutor her a bit. Max agrees to, and then, during his tutoring, Max starts taking a liking to her. During a campus dance, Lydia drags Max on to the dance floor, and they both start slow dancing closely. But when the dance ended, a guy named Eddie Baker grabs Lydia and drags her out to the dance floor, and they spend most of the time dancing together. And Max just stood there wondering what just happened.

Lydia and Eddie were an item after that, and Max couldn't do anything but watch them. It was hard on him, because he was growing more and more attracted to Lydia. Then, during another social, Lydia, who had too much to drink, started chatting with Max. During that chat, she started telling Max how handsome and attractive he was, and that any woman who'd go out with him would be the luckiest girl in the world. Max, surprised by that revelation, kissed Lydia on the cheek, which she seemed to like.

From that moment forward, Max fell in love with Lydia. And for the next couple of weeks, his mind was a mess, because all he could think about was her. And it didn't help watching her fall all over herself with Eddie. Then, one evening, during a tutoring session, Max went and confessed his love for Lydia. She was flattered, but was in love with Eddie. Max couldn't do anything about that except watch Lydia and Eddie together.

And what he saw was Eddie displaying tendencies of cruelty to her. One time, Max, from a distance, saw Lydia arguing with Eddie, who then slapped her in the face hard. Max was enraged by that and wanted to go over and beat Eddie up. But he didn't, because Eddie was bigger than him, and he would most surely beat Max up. Then, an incident took place where Eddie stormed off in his car, drunk, and got into an accident that left him in a vegeative state. Lydia was devestated, but vowed to stand by Eddie through thick and thin.

Max could only accept that. But less then a month later, Max dropped by one of his classrooms to get something, only to discover Lydia engaged in sex with Lysenko, the professor who had been giving her a hard time. Max was devastated from that as he ran out the building in tears. Max spent the rest of his college days watching Lydia and Lysenko together. It affected his school work and his grades suffered. He hardly spoke to Lydia after that, until grauation day when Lydia wanted to wish Max well. Max just told her off, and walked away from her.

Upon graduating, Max had no idea what he was going to do with himself, until he decided to become a teacher. After completing teachers college, and after much on the job training, Max was hired to teach American history at Danfrorth High School, located at the east end of Barclay Avenue in a neighbourhood district called Barclay Davis, Max rented an apartment on the other end of the district, which was just a few doors north on Davis Road.

While Max was good at preparing his work to give to his students, he struggled in communicating with them. That got him the unwanted attention of the school's ultra serious vice principal, Mike McGilligan. McGilligan kept giving Max a hard time with his work, but he was helped out a lot by one of the well respected teachers, Jeffrey Robinson, who mentored Max as well as stand up for him whenever McGilligan was riding his ass. Max also got help from the tag team of Gail Smith and Abigail Jones, whom always take turns talking after one of them finishes a sentence.

Gail and Abigail were always trying to get Max out of his shell. One time, they read him his horoscope, which suggested he try something different for his meal. So, on his way home from work, he stops off at a fish market, where the propietor gives him a live crab to take home at a reduced rate, so as to get rid of it.

Once back at his apartment, Max tries to make dinner with the crab. But the crab has other ideas, and tries to make a break for it. Max keeps twarting the crab's efforts, getting his fingers and nose pinched along the way. Until, when Max looks as if he's ready to put the crab into the boiling hot water, the crab screams "PLEEEASE, I WANNA LIVE!!!" Max was stunned that the crab could talk.

So Max decides to keep the crab as a pet/roomate. They go to the Crow's Bar, where the other four guys - Mitch, Bob, Sam, and Pete - who live on Max's floor in the apartment, all hang out together. The other guys didn't know what to make of the crab, until Rudolf, the bar's psychotic bully and lothario, started to give them a hard time. When he sees the crab, he starts freaking out in fear. The crab picks up on it and chases Rudolf out of the bar with his claws out. The crab returns all triumphant, saying "To the victor, goes the spoils!" And from that moment, Max names the crab Victor.

Victor always tries to make things better for Max and the Gang. But, far more often than not, it blows up in everybody's faces, with Max screaming "Vic-TORRRRR!!". Later in the series, Victor decides to become a vlogger/influencer because he feels the world needs to hear him out. Max finds Victor's plans amusing, until Victor starts getting paid for his vlogging and is outearning Max, leaving Max shaken and wondering about the life choices he's made.

One thing he can't help Max on is his dating life, where every date Max goes on ends up in disaster for him, leaving him returning home alone and frustrated.

And then, in a surprise. Lydia shows up to Danforth, after seeing his picture in the local paper over a school event he was co-ordinating. Lydia tries to connect with Max, but he wants nothing from her because she never respected his feelings for him. At the end of the school day, as Max was leaving, Lydia had approached him again. Max asks what she now wants. But, after a few moments of silence, Lydia starts crying uncontrollably. Max starts comforting her, and they then start kissing each other. It looked as if Max has finally gotten the girl.

Max sets up a date with Lydia for that evening, where they would meet up at the Crow's Bar. When Max arrives with a bouquet of flowers to give to Lydia, he heads over to the pool room, where she's waiting. When he approaches her to give her the flowers, she struggles to say somthing to Max. It was then, Rudolf showed up and demanded Lydia come with him. She had ditched Max to be with that psycho bully. When Max protested, Rudolpf grabbed him and was prepared to beat him up, when Hirsh showed up with a baseball bat in his hand and told Rudolf to move along. Rudolph just shoved Max aside and left with Lydia.

That moment devastated Max. He left the Crow's Bar drunk and stumbled back home with the flowers, leaving Max looking something like this:

After that, Max vowed he was done with the dating scene. He was convinced that no woman alive was ever going to be interested in him, and was ready to face the rest of his life, alone and unloved.

And then, he meets Frida Olsen.

Up next: Meet Frida Olsen.