What Happens When You Out-Grift The Mad King

Donald Trump hates losing money. But equally important, he hates the appearance of losing money.

As far back as the late 70s and 80s, Trump and his team of lawyers would consistently stiff contractors, a fact that was an open secret in New York City during that time. It was widely reported during his first run for president that Trump's own father laundered money for him to help pay off a $3.35 million interest payment in December of 1990. He's famously declared bankruptcy six times. He's had multiple failed business ventures. Yet, he's always been bailed out. Twice by Saudi prince Alwaleed bin Talal and multiple times by Deutsche Bank to the tune of a whopping $2.5 billion. The man who (ghost)wrote The Art of the Deal has been a mediocre businessman at best and an above-the-law nepo baby at worst. Regardless, he was always able to maintain an air of confidence and always saw himself as an alpha, even when others were bailing him out time and time again behind the scenes. He felt it necessary to make as much money as possible and to surround himself with those who valued money as much as he did.

So it should come as no surprise that Donald Trump and his current administration exist solely to make money at the expense of the American people. His Border Czar was caught red-handed, accepting a $50,000 bribe from federal agents posing as border contractors. His FBI Director has been caught using a government-funded jet for his own personal leisure. His vice-president had the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers lower the water levels of an Ohio lake so that he and his family could have a more enjoyable kayak trip. And, as we saw last week, his now former Secretary of Homeland Security was forced out after receiving public scrutiny for her department's extravagant $220 million ad purchase, of which $143 million went to a company that magically came into existence 11 days before being awarded a no-bid contract.

Any one of these would have been a massive controversy a decade ago. Hell, any one of these would still be a massive scandal under a Democratic administration. But with Donald Trump, these are simply par for the course. Trump himself has done nothing to help anyone other than rich Americans. He's been in office for over five years, and the only legislation that Republicans tell their constituents about has been two massive tax cuts for the wealthy. With a working trifecta since January of 2025, the current GOP-led Congress ended its first year with a record-low number of bills being enacted into law. Nothing to lessen the everyday American struggles with the rising costs of housing, groceries, or education. Inflation, the key issue of the 2024 campaign, has remained unaddressed. The only relief being felt has been that of rich Americans like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg, who all saw a net worth increase of at least $250 billion during Trump's first year in office.

Kristi Noem wasn't fired because of the way ICE is operating. She wasn't fired because of the 170 American citizens who have been illegally detained under her watch. She wasn't fired for how she called the two innocent victims in Minnesota "domestic terrorists." She wasn't fired for the way in which she filmed a video where she stood behind part of the notorious CECOT prison in El Salvador and claimed that the gang members behind her were deported Venezuelans. All of this was perfectly acceptable to Donald Trump. What was unacceptable was the fact that Noem spent money, and she did so in a way that made Donald Trump look bad. Despite denying it, Trump knew (or should have known) about Noem's excessive $220 million ad budget. It was only when Noem testified last week, and the high cost of the campaign came up, that drew the eye and the ire of Slumlord Sauron himself. Nobody, and I mean nobody, in Trumpworld should ever be caught grifting in such an egregious manner. 

That's why Kristi Noem is out of a job. Or reassigned. Or whatever. Not because she was Botox Barbie ordering ICE to freely ignore the Constitution. But because she dared to hook herself up to a sweet, under-the-table grift that was so good, Donald Trump had no choice but to fire her. You see, Donald Trump must be king, and that means he and only he can score these great deals. It's why a little $50k bribe here or a free plane ride or lake raising there doesn't bother him. Those are small, insignificant deals. Kristi Noem's $143 million banger, though, that's a great deal. Something Trump probably wishes he had thought of. So when the entire country is talking about it, Trump doesn't care that it's illegal or unethical. He only cares that it was done by somebody else. Donald Trump always has to be the smartest businessman in the room, and his ego simply can't stand when someone else makes a great deal at his expense. In trying to sneak a fast one by the American people, Kristi Noem was only caught because her grift was so excessive and so headline-worthy that even Donald Trump had to take notice. 

And when the Great Dealmaker gets outdealed, he has no choice but to send you packing.