Friday open thread: LOL! Eat my ass, Ron

You know that old saying? "I don't know whether to laugh or cry?" Oh, I'm laughing.

TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — Florida Sen. Jason Brodeur (R-Lake Mary) wants bloggers who write about Gov. Ron DeSantis, Attorney General Ashley Moody, and other members of the Florida executive cabinet or legislature to register with the state or face fines.

Brodeur’s proposal, Senate Bill 1316: Information Dissemination, would require any blogger writing about government officials to register with the Florida Office of Legislative Services or the Commission on Ethics.

In the bill, Brodeur wrote that those who write “an article, a story, or a series of stories,” about “the Governor, the Lieutenant Governor, a Cabinet officer, or any member of the Legislature,” and receives or will receive payment for doing so, must register with state offices within five days after the publication of an article that mentions an elected state official.

If another blog post is added to a blog, the blogger would then be required to submit monthly reports on the 10th of each month with the appropriate state office. They would not have to submit a report on months when no content is published.

Now, let's cut to the chase, shall we? This is farcical. This is so beyond parody that I'm surprised this isn't out and out satire. A Florida legislator thinks he can dictate what bloggers write? If this law were to be passed and actually signed into law, it would be laughed out of court and quashed so fast that it would make Ronnie spin in his hip-waders.

And, of course, if Mr. Brodeur thinks his little law would be applicable to me, a California resident, he must be licking poisonous toads. 

But I actually welcome this. Why? Because it is an indication of desperation. Florida may be a lost cause for the foreseeable future, as it goes from a purple swing state to ruby red. But actions like this do show how fearful they are that their little experiment in fascism is not going to catch on in the rest of the nation. Certainly not in blue states. 

Imagine me, a little old blogger in Inglewood, CA, getting a ticket from Florida for writing that Ron DeSantis is a pathetic, meanspirited gobshite who needs to take posture lessons. I would think of some humorous way to destroy the missive, film it, and send it on to the Ministry of Information.

The Nazis made laws like this, and they stuck. But, the Nazis were in power in the entire country; Ronnie is governor of one state. He can make Florida a hellhole with the consent of a pliant legislature and judiciary, but that don't mean jack shit north of the Panhandle. He can go eat all the donkey dicks.

No. This is very much not an example that fascism is ascendant and will rampage to victory. It's quite the opposite. It's nothing but rank anxiety as the realization that their moment has passed. That they are yesterday's men and women. When their schools are laughingstocks and new businesses don't relocate there due to a lack of educated staff, laws like this will be cold comfort. (And let's not even talk about climate change, which will see the state underwater.)

You see this in all the similar laws passed in red states this year. They are cries of agony, commanding the tide to not come in. But the tide has its own motive force. 

So, please. Send me a fine. I always need more toilet paper.

This is your open thread.

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